Friendly: contra dancing

This returns to an earlier post, somewhat.

There’s tremendous and profound joy to be discovered in folk dancing.  How could something so simple, so “clean,” so fun — moving in patterns, with a partner, to the beat of the music — be so satisfying?  Is dancing an essential part of our existence, like language?

Evidence of a friendly universe: dancing.

Friendly: the once-a-year get-together

I have this very old friend, going back about 27 years.  Now that I think about it, it’s incredible. For about 5 years, I’d see him about once a month but now it’s more like once a year. Anyway, it’s always a pleasure to hear from him and get together. Next week, we’ll have a simple dinner. I feel lucky. He’s a nice guy and always interesting to talk to.

Evidence of a friendly universe? That friend who stays in touch.

Friendly: conversation

If I were to begin each day reading the New York Times, which is what I do, the day would begin with my feeling rather lot of concern for the world.

However….

Today, near the start of the day, a friend and I plan to meet for what I anticipate will be an emotionally challenging conversation. Neither of us need to meet. The fact that such an impulse can exist, for people to feel that difficult conversations are important and useful and may make their world a better place, is remarkable. Why would such an idea even exist in the universe if there wasn’t some deep pull towards togetherness and an awareness that we all exist best by coexisting peacefully.

Evidence of a friendly universe: conversation.

Q

Friendly: win-win business relationships

I enjoy bantering with several of my business partners, but there’s one supplier in particular with whom I seem to always have great, productive and inspiring conversations.  This fellow is my sales rep at a supplier based in Germany. Today, we had a long and wide-ranging talk about various business items and, like many of our conversations, it was entertaining, illuminating, thought-provoking and gave me some new ideas to try.

Many of my business relationships are friendships, but not all of them.  And it blows my mind pretty much every time they are not because it’s such a needless waste of energy.  There seems to be a school of thought in business (maybe in lie) where win-lose is the only way to make money.  “Win-lose” is where the goal is for me to “win” and I can only do that if you “lose.”  This school of grouchiness seems to believe that “win-win” and the trust to make that happen is impossible.

I suppose a hostile universe would only be populated by win-lose relationships: where I have to lose in order for you to win.  Fortunately, my universe is mostly populated by win-win relationships, and I’m grateful for that.

Evidence of a friendly universe: collaborative business relationships where the parties work to help everyone win.

Friendly: free-flowing conversation

Free-flowing, intimate conversation with a friend. Evidence of a friendly universe.

Maybe this one is too easy, but a friend came over for dinner and we had a great time. Conversation flowed freely without feelings of being judged. (Total wine consumption: me, 1/2 a glass, him apx. 2 glasses.)

Over the years he and I have had several deep and personal conversations. This evening, I asked him about his experience with intimacy and the search for it — physical, emotional and in conversation — and I told him I had “only” three or four friends with whom I had intimate conversations like he and I had. He found that remarkable; he said I was the only person with whom he had these sorts of conversations and he credited me with being able to create these connections. I took that as quite a compliment.

At any rate, intimate conversation with a friend is definitely evidence of a friendly universe. Glad it’s here.

Q