I'm seeking evidence of a friendly universe.
My God. Yesterday, a very dear friend told me she has breast cancer. I’m shattered by the news.
I absolutely don’t know what to write here. I can’t concentrate on anything. Nothing else seems important.
I hope, hope, hope she’ll be okay.
Evidence of a friendly universe: that we can hope things will get better.
Q
At the heart of Trumpism is the perception that the world is a dark, savage place, and therefore ruthlessness, selfishness and callousness are required to survive in it.
New York Times
The Opinion Pages | OP-ED COLUMNIST
A Gift for Donald Trump
David Brooks FEB. 10, 2017
My goodness. David Brooks could have been writing about me. This is why I started writing this blog: to stop thinking this way.
I don’t know if it’s only New York City, or if this is true in other towns regardless of size. In New York, my friendships seem to come and go depending on the activities I engage in. I make friends readily enough but as soon as I stop doing a specific activity (Toastmasters and pick-up soccer come to mind), those friendships fade away. It can be exhausting. However, since I am generally replacing one activity with another, and in the city there’s no shortage of activities and interesting new people to meet, I quickly make new friends all over again and, well, truth is, I replace the old friends with new ones.
That said, there is absolutely nothing so pleasant as being around people I have known for a long time, or with whom I’ve experienced significant life adventures. Also, there’s nothing so incredible as the long-term friend who sticks with you through thick and thin. We tend to associate that person with a spouse or some other sort of best friend or partner. Whatever the title, the friend who won’t stop liking you in spite of all your faults, is a wonderful friend.
I have a few friends like that. I don’t necessarily understand why these friendships have endured for as long as they have. There’s no business incentive, no romantic interest, no discernible advantage to the friendship, it simply seems we enjoy talking and connecting with one another.
I’m meeting one of these friends for dinner in a couple hours. Another, I spoke with briefly on the phone today.
It’s really quite marvelous, the human interest and capacity for long-term friendship and desire for community: evidence of a friendly universe.
I made an upsetting discovery today that marks the end of a chapter in my life and the deep cooling off of a friendship. It left me feeling extremely sad.
Today’s evidence of a friendly universe might be that we have freedom of choice including the freedom to make painful decisions and the freedom to decide what we feel and whether or not to allow ourselves to feel.
When I feel pain, the world doesn’t feel friendly. For “friendly,” I want something welcoming and warm.
One thing seems to always turn me around and make me feel better when I’m down: a long, vigorous workout. That’s what I did and my mood dramatically improved afterwards.
Evidence of a friendly universe: exercise and whatever it does to make me feel better afterwards.
Q
Nuff said. Having fun without using mind- and mood-altering substances, stimulating adrenal glands or whatever it is about sex that is so exciting. Just having fun and joking and dancing to live music. Clean fun: evidence of a friendly universe. You may disagree.
While searching for an example this evening, I realized that this blog is really a Gratitude List of sorts.
Gratitude: being thankful for and appreciating the good things in life.
I think the feeling of gratitude is evidence of a friendly universe because when I feel gratitude I feel open and warm — friendly — towards others. Who do I thank for the good things in life if there is no one around me? God, I guess.
Rough day today. Too much time spent alone. And I’m tired.
I’m grateful that I’ll see some friends tomorrow and soon get some sleep tonight.
Evidence of a friendly universe: gratitude.
Q